This is my beautiful son Sampson. Sampson will be 4 years old on May 9th. He is an amazing child. For those of you who follow my blog you may know that Sampson is Autistic. He sees the world in a different way than anyone else. He is obsessed with letters, numbers, and pattern. He can say all his ABC's and recognize letters out of order and spell things out. He can count to 100 and even count by 10's. He watches countless youtube videos on trains, letters and numbers and has a knack for memorizing things from the videos. He can also identify objects and animals and colors, all sorts of things. That's kind of amazing. In spite of all these amazing things that Sampson can do there are many things that are difficult for him (which I will not go into too much detail about). I try to focus on the things he CAN do and encourage him. He likes trains so we spend a lot of time at the train museum. He is attending a state funded special education pre school that has been amazing.
One of the hardest things for Sampson to do is to communicate with others. He has trouble turning all his words into sentences. He can identify an 'iguana' but can't find the words to tell me what he wants or needs. For all the words he has learned, there are many that he has 'lost'. Some words he learns and then never says again. Since he started school he has regained some of these early words. One word he said only once to my knowledge was 'Mommy'. he babbled it as a baby 'Mama' but around a year it stopped. I heard him say it once when my sister was in town, right after Juneau was born when I walked towards him at the zoo. He never said it again. I try to not think about it, but it's heartbreaking. I just want him to call me, to ask for me. Juneau calls me "mommy" all the time (she is 13 months old). As much as I love hearing my little girl say mommy, I have been waiting almost four years for my 'first love' to call me mommy.Well I am marking today and sharing these things because today Sampson did say 'mommy'. I want to type about it, to share it because it means a lot. He was in the garden with Dad helping him water the tomatoes....Sampson calls them 'trees'. He was crouched down and holding the hose, his face near the ground watching the water. He enjoys seeing everything up close. He looked to the side a little (we call is his 'side eye', it's something he does to look at people without giving direct eye contact) and he said quietly 'Oh....is Mommy' and then turned back to the water. He didn't say it to me, or ask for me, or call me...but he acknowledged me as 'Mommy' with words...and that is enough. Even if I don't hear it again for another year, it was enough. Today was an amazing day.
4 comments:
i smiled for you. Its the little victories that make being a parent worthwhile.
Actions speak louder than words, and i can see the love in that little boys eyes for you from hear (in Canada)...♥Debi
Yes, what a beautiful word Mommy is.
So little, but yet such a big meaning.
My Benjamin called me Mommy only for a few months and then he did not say it again until he was almost 4,5 years.
It was (I can't deny it) Painful.
Have a sweet weekend!
Jess, your kids are both so beautiful. Sampson has really grown. I am so happy for you that you got to hear him call you Mommy once again. I'll bet for the one time that you hear him say it though, that he has said it a million times in his mind. Two of my boys are on the autism spectrum. Both fairly high functioning, but both with their own set of challenges..one more than the other. Communication is hard even for them, and my younger one also has a bit of a processing delay, so he struggles at times to get out what he is thinking, feeling or wanting. They are so unique and amazing people that just have a different way of using their brains. I think it is heartbreaking the most for us Moms though when we watch them struggle, and just want to see things come more easily to them. I love my boys with all my heart. I just wish for happy and fulfilling lives for them. I hope that you enjoy all the things that Sampson has helped you to look at differently in sharing the way that he looks at his world. In a way, people who do not know or have autistic children may never realize some fascinating things that make people tick. With all of it's challenges, it is also a gift.
Hugs to Sampson...and his Mommy..Juneau too :)
Carolyn
p.s. Just a little tidbit that was shared with me recently...it seems that many kids with autism (usually boys) that happen to have a sibling ( usually girls) will have the girl be very intelligent, talented and excel in all that she does while the boy is the one that struggles with autism. Hoping that doesn't sound like a negative. Just saying that maybe Juneau will be that for you. Don't know if that is an actual study or anything...just an observance by a medical worker of kids with autism.
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